I'm a professional trouble maker
my job is to critique the world the
shoddy systems and the people who refuse
to do better as a writer as a speaker as
a shady Nigerian I feel like my purpose
is to be this cat I am the person who's
looking at other people like I need you
to fix it that is me I want us to leave
this world better than we found it and
how I choose to affect change is by
speaking up by being a first by being
the domino for a line of dominoes to
fall one has to fall first which then
leaves the other choiceless to do the
same and that domino that falls we're
hoping that okay the next person that
sees this is inspired to be a domino
being the domino for me
looks like speaking up and doing the
things that are really difficult
especially when they're needed with the
hope that others will follow suit and
here's the thing I'm the person who says
what you might be thinking but they're
not to say and a lot of times people
think that we're fearless the people who
do this we're fearless we're not
fearless we're not unafraid of the
consequences or the sacrifices that we
have to make by speaking truth to power
what happens is we feel like we have to
because there are too few people in the
world willing to be the domino to three
people willing to take that fall we're
not doing it without fear now let's talk
about fear I knew exactly what I wanted
to be when I grew up I was like I'm
gonna be a doctor
dr. Lovi was the dream I was doc
mcstuffins before it was a thing and I
remember when I went to college my
freshman year I had to take chemistry
101 for my pre-med major I got the first
and last D of my academic career
so wasn't my advisor and I was like okay
let's drop the pre-med because this dr.
thing is not gonna work because I don't
even like hospitals so let's just
consider that done for and that same
semester I started blogging that was
2003 so as that one dream was ending
another was beginning and then when I
was a cute hobby became my full-time job
when I lost my marketing job in 2010 but
it still took me two more years to say
I'm a writer
nine years after I started writing
before I said I'm a writer because I was
afraid of what happens without 401 k's
without how am i gonna keep up my shoe
habit that's important to me so it took
me that long to own this thing that was
what my purpose was and then i realized
fear has a very concrete power of
keeping us from doing and saying the
things that are our purpose and i was
like you know what i'm not gonna let
fear rule my life i'm not gonna let fear
dictate what i do and then all these
awesome things started happening and
dominoes started to fall so when i
realized that i was like 'okay 2015 i
turned 30 it's gonna be my year of doing
anyway anything that scares me i'm gonna
actively pursue it so I'm a Capricorn I
like my feet solidly on the ground I
decided to take my first ever solo
vacation and it was out of the country
to the Dominican Republic so on my
birthday what did I do
I went ziplining through the forests of
Punta Cana and for some odd reason I had
on business casual don't ask why and I
had an incredible time also I don't like
being submerged in water I like to be
again on solid ground so I went to
Mexico and swam with dolphins underwater
and then the cool thing that did also
that year that was my mountain was I
wrote my book I'm judging to do better
Manuel and I had to own that whole
writing thing now right yes but
the very anti meeting that I did they
hear that scare the crap out of me I
went skydiving we're about to fall out
the plane I was like I've done some
stupid things in life this is one of
them and then we come falling down to
earth and I literally lose my breath as
I see earth and I was like I just
thought of a perfectly good plane on
purpose what is wrong with me but then I
looked down at the beauty and I was like
this is the best thing I could have done
this is an amazing decision and I think
about the times and I have to speak
truth it feels like I am falling out
that plane it feels like that moment
when I'm at the edge of the plane I'm
like you shouldn't do this but then I do
it anyway because I realize I have to
sitting at the edge of that plane and
kind of stayed on that plan is comfort
to me and I feel like every day that I'm
speaking truth against institutions and
people who are bigger than me and and
just forces that are more powerful than
me I feel like I'm falling out of that
plane but I realize comfort is overrated
because being quiet is comfortable
keeping things the way they've been is
comfortable and all comfort has done is
maintain the status quo so we've got to
get comfortable with being uncomfortable
by speaking these hard truths when they
are necessary and
and for me though I realized that I have
to speak these truths because honesty is
so important to me my integrity
something I hold dear justice I don't
think justice should be an option we
should always have justice also I
believe in shea butter as a core value
and and I think the world would be
better if we were all more moisturized
but besides that with these as my core
values I have to speak the truth I have
no other choice in the matter
but then people like me the professional
troublemakers should not be the only
ones who are committed to being these
Domino's who are always falling out the
planes or being the first one to take
this hit people are so afraid of these
acute consequences not realizing that
there are many times when we walk in
rooms and we are some of the most
powerful people in those rooms we might
be the second most powerful third most
powerful and I firmly believe that our
job in those times is to disrupt what is
happening and then if we're not the most
powerful if two more of us band together
it makes us powerful
it's like co-signing the woman in the
meeting you know the woman who who can't
seem to get her word out or just making
sure that other person who can't make a
point is being heard our job is to make
sure they have room for that everyone's
well-being is community business if we
made that a point we'd understand that
for the times when we need help we
wouldn't have to look around so hard if
we make sure we were somebody else's
help and there are times when I feel
like I have taken very public tumbles
and falls like a time when I was asked
to speak at a conference and they wanted
me to pay my way there and then I did
some research I found out the white man
who spoke there got compensated and got
their travel pay for the white women who
spoke there got their travel page for
the black women who spoke there were
expected to actually pay to speak there
and I was like what do I do and I knew
that if I spoke up about this publicly I
could face the national loss but then I
also understood that my silence serves
no one so I fear fully spoke up about it
publicly and other women started coming
out to talk about
I too have faced this type of pay
inequality and I started a conversation
about discriminatory pay practices that
this conference was part
Payton in I felt like I was the Domino
the time I read a disturbing memoir by a
public figure and wrote a piece about it
and I knew this person was more powerful
than me and could impact my career but I
was like I got to do this I gotta sit at
the edge of this plane maybe for two
hours and I did and I press publish and
I ran away and I came back to a viral
post and people being like oh my god I'm
so glad somebody finally said this and
it started conversation about mental
health and self-care and I was like okay
alright this thing that I'm doing I
guess alright it's doing something and
then so many people have been the domino
when they talk about how they've been
assaulted by powerful men and it's made
millions of women join in and say me too
so shout out to Toronto Burke for
igniting that movement
people and systems count on our silence
to keep us exactly where we are
now being the domino sometimes comes
down to being exactly who you are so
I've been a shady somebody South three
this is me on my third birthday but I've
been this girl all my life and I feel
like even that's gonna Domino because in
a world that wants us to walk around as
representatives of ourselves being
yourself can be a revolutionary act and
in a world that wants us to whisper I
choose to yell when it's time to say
these hard things I asked myself three
things one did you mean it - can you
defend it three did you say with love if
the answer is yes to all three I say it
and let the chips fall that's important
that checkpoint with myself always tells
me yes you're supposed to do this
telling the truth tell her thoughtful
truth should not be revolutionary Act
speaking truth to power should not be
sacrificial but they are but I think if
more of us chose to do this for the
greater good we'd be in better spaces
than we are right now speaking of the
greater good I think we commit ourselves
to tell in truth to build bridges to
common ground
and bridges that aren't based on truth
will collapse so it is our job it is our
obligation it is our duty to speak
truths of power to be the Domino not
just when it's difficult especially when
it's difficult thank you
[Applause]
[Music]