hello I'd like to show you guys 30
seconds of the best day of my life
so that was El Capitan in California's
Yosemite National Park and in case you
couldn't tell I was climbing by myself
without a rope
a style with finally known as free so
long that was the culmination of a
nearly decade-long green and in the
video I'm over 2500 feet off the ground
seems scary yeah it is which is why I
spent so many years dreaming about
soloing I'll cap and not actually doing
it but on the day that that video was
taken
it didn't feel scary at all it felt as
comfortable and as natural as a walk in
the park which is what most folks were
doing in Yosemite that day today I'd
like to talk about how I was able to
feel so comfortable and how I overcame
my fear I'll start with a very brief
version of how I became a climber and
then tell the story of my two most
significant free solos they were
successful which is why I'm here but the
first but the first felt largely
unsatisfying whereas the second El Cap
was by far the most fulfilling day of my
life through these two climbs you'll see
my process for managing fear so I
started climbing in the gym when I was
around ten years old which means that my
life has been centered on climbing for
more than 20 years after nearly a decade
of climbing mostly indoors I made the
transition to the outdoors and gradually
started free soloing I built up my
comfort over time and slowly took on
bigger and more challenging walls and
there have been many free solos before
me so I had plenty of inspiration to
draw from but by 2008 I'd repeated most
of their previous solos in Yosemite and
was starting to imagine breaking into
new terrain the obvious first choice was
Half Dome an iconic 2004 that lords over
the east end of the valley the problem
though also the allure was that it was
too big I didn't really know how to
prepare for potential free solo so I
decided to skip the preparations and
just go up there and have an adventure
I figured I would rise to the occasion
which unsurprisingly was not the best
strategy I did at least climb the route
roped up with a friend
two days before just to make sure that I
knew roughly where to go and that I
could physically do it but when I came
back by myself two days later I decided
that I didn't want to go that way I knew
that there was a 300 foot variation that
sir
around one of the hardest parts of the
climb I suddenly decided to skip the
hard part and take the variation even
though I'd never climbed it before but I
immediately began to doubt myself
imagine being by yourself in the dead
center of a 2,000 foot phase wondering
if you're lost thankfully it was pretty
much the right way and I circled back to
the route I was slightly rattled I was
pretty rattled we're not trying to into
a lot of try not to let it bother me too
much because I knew that all the hardest
climbing was up the top I needed to stay
composed it was a beautiful September
morning and as I climbed higher I could
hear the sounds of tourists chatting and
laughing on the summit they'd all hiked
up the normal trail on the back which I
was planning on using for my descent but
between me in the summit lay a blank
slab of granite there were no cracks or
edges told on to just small ripples of
texture of a slightly less than vertical
wall I had to trust my life to the
friction between my climbing shoes and
the smooth granite I carefully balanced
my way upward shifting my weight back
and forth between the small smears but
then I reached a foothold that I didn't
quite trust two days ago I'd just
stepped right up on it but that had been
with a rope on now it felt too small and
too slippery I doubted that my foot
would stay on if I waited it I
considered a foot further to the side
there seemed worse I switched my feet
and try to foot further out seemed even
worse I started to panic I could hear
people laughing on the summit just above
me I wanted to be anywhere but on that
slab my mind was racing in every
direction I knew what I had to do but I
was just too afraid to do it I just had
to stand up on my right foot
and so after what felt like an eternity
I accepted what I had to do and I stood
up on the right foot and it didn't slip
and so I didn't die and that move marked
the end of the hardest climbing and so I
charged from there towards the summit
and said normally when you summit Half
Dome you have a rope and a bunch of
climbing gear on you and tourists gasp
and they flock around you for photos
this time I popped over the edge
shirtless panting Jack I was amped but
nobody batted knife
I'd look like a lost hiker that was too
close to the edge I was I was surrounded
by people talking on cell phones and
having picnics I felt like I was in the
mall I took off my tight climbing shoes
and started hiking back down and that's
when people stopped me you're hiking
barefoot
that's so hardcore I didn't bother to
explain but that night in my climbing
journal I duly noted my free solo if
after him but I included a frowny face
in a comment do better question mark I'd
succeeded in the solo and it was
celebrated as a big first in climbing
some friends later made a film about it
but I was unsatisfied I was disappointed
in my performance because I had knew
that I'd gotten away with something I
didn't want to be a lucky farmer I
wanted to be a great climber I actually
took the next year or so offering free
soloing because I knew that I shouldn't
make a habit of relying on luck but even
though it wasn't strolling very much I'd
already started to think about our cab
it was always in the back of my mind as
the obvious crown jewel with solos it's
the most striking wall in the world each
year for the next seven years I think
this is the year that I'm in a solo El
Cap and then I would drive in Yosemite
look up at the wall and think no freakin
way it was it's too big and too scary
but eventually I came to accept that I
wanted to test myself against El Cap he
represented true mastery but I needed it
to feel different I didn't want to get
away with anything or barely squeaked by
this time I wanted to do it right the
thing that makes El Cap so intimidating
is this year scale of the wall most
climbers take three to five days to
ascend the 3,000 feet of vertical
granite the idea of setting out up a
wall of that size with nothing but shoes
in a chalk bag seemed impossible 3,000
feet of climbing represents thousands of
distinct hand and foot movements which
is a lot to remember
many of the moves I knew through sheer
repetition I'd climbed El Cap maybe 50
times over the previous decade with a
rope but this photo shows my preferred
method of rehearsing the moves I'm on
the summit about to rappel down the face
with over a thousand feet of rope to
spend the day practicing by myself
that on sequences that felt secure and
repeatable I had to memorize them I had
to make sure that they're so deeply
ingrained within me that there is no
possibility of error I didn't want to be
up on the wall wondering if I was going
the right way or using the best holes I
needed everything to feel automatic
clanging that the Rope is a largely
physical effort you just have to be
strong enough to hold on and make the
movements upward but free soloing plays
out more in the mind the physical effort
is largely the same your body is still
climbing the same wall but staying calm
and performing at your best when you
know that any mistake could mean death
requires a certain kind of mindset
that's not supposed to be funny but what
it is it is I work to cultivate that
mindset through visualization which
basically just means imagining the
entire experience is soloing the wall
partially that was to help me remember
all the holds but mostly visualization
was about feeling the texture of each
hold in my hand and imagine the
sensation of my leg reaching out and
placing my foot just so I'd imagine it
all like a choreographed dance thousands
of feet of the most difficult part of
the whole route was called the boulder
problem it was about 2,000 feet off the
ground and consisted of the hardest
physical moves on the whole route long
poles between poor hand holds with very
small slippery feet this were I mean by
a poor hand hold an edge smaller than
the width of a pencil but facing
downward that I had to press up into
with my thumb but that wasn't even the
hardest part
the crux culminated in the karate kick
with my left foot over to the inside of
an adjacent corner a maneuver that
required a high degree of precision and
flexibility enough so that I've been
doing a nightly stretching routine for a
full year ahead of time to make sure
that I could comfortably make the reach
with my leg as I practice the moves my
visualization turned to the emotional
component of a potential solo basically
what if I got up there and it was too
scary what if I was too tired
what if I couldn't quite make the kick I
had to consider every possibility while
I was safely on the ground so that when
the time came and I was like she making
the moves without a rope there was no
room for doubt to creep in doubt is the
precursor to fear and I knew that I
couldn't experience my perfect moment if
I was afraid I had to visualize and
rehearse enough to remove all doubt but
beyond that I also visualize how it
would feel if it never seemed doable
what if after so much work I was afraid
to try
what if I was wasting my time and I
would never feel comfortable in such an
exposed position there were no easy
answers but El Cap meant enough to me
that I would put in the work and find
out some of my preparations were more
mundane this is a photo of my friend
Conrad Anker climbing up the bottom of
El Cap with an empty backpack we spent
the day climbing together to a specific
crack in the middle of the wall that was
choked with moose rocks they made that
section of climbing difficult and
potentially dangerous these any misstep
might knock the loose rock to the ground
and kill a passing climber or hiker so
we carefully removed the rocks loaded
them into the pack and repelled back
down take a second to imagine how
ridiculous it feels to climb 1,500 feet
up a wall just to fill a backpack full
of rocks it's never that easy to carry a
pack full of rocks around it's even
harder on the side of a cliff it may
have felt silly but it still had to get
done I needed everything to feel perfect
if I was ever going to climb the route
without a rope after two seasons of
working specifically toward a potential
free solo vocab I finally finished all
my preparations I knew every handhold
and foothold on the whole route and I
knew exactly what to do basically I was
ready it was time to solo I'll cab on
June 3rd 2017 I woke up early ate my
usual breakfast amusing fruit and made
it to the base of the wall before
sunrise
I felt confidence I looked up the wall I
felt even better as I started climbing
about 500 feet up our reaches slab very
similar to the one that had given me so
much trouble and half done but this time
was different
I scouted every option including
hundreds of feet of wall to either side
I knew exactly what to do and how to do
it I had no doubts I just climbed right
through even the difficult and strenuous
sections passed by with ease I was
perfectly executing my routine I rested
for a moment below the boulder problem
and then climbed it just as I had
practiced so many times with the rope on
my foot shot across with the wall on the
left without hesitation and I knew that
I'd done climbing Half Dome had been a
big goal and I did it but I didn't get
what I really wanted I didn't achieve
mastery I was hesitant and afraid and it
wasn't the experience that I wanted but
El Cap was different with 600 feet to go
I felt like the mountain was offering me
a victory lap I climbed with a smooth
precision and enjoyed the sounds of the
birds swooping around the cliff
it all felt like a celebration and then
I reached the summit after three hours
and 56 minutes of glorious climbing
it was the climb that I wanted and it
felt like mastery thank you
[Applause]
[Music]