1 00:00:00,690 --> 00:00:07,300 [Music] 2 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:07,310 3 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:12,240 [Music] 4 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:12,250 5 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,550 [Applause] 6 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:15,560 7 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,839 so for any of us in this room today 8 00:00:17,839 --> 00:00:17,849 so for any of us in this room today 9 00:00:17,849 --> 00:00:19,999 so for any of us in this room today let's start out by admitting we're lucky 10 00:00:19,999 --> 00:00:20,009 let's start out by admitting we're lucky 11 00:00:20,009 --> 00:00:22,550 let's start out by admitting we're lucky we don't live in the world our mothers 12 00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:22,560 we don't live in the world our mothers 13 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:24,769 we don't live in the world our mothers lived in our grandmothers lived in where 14 00:00:24,769 --> 00:00:24,779 lived in our grandmothers lived in where 15 00:00:24,779 --> 00:00:26,689 lived in our grandmothers lived in where career choices for women were so limited 16 00:00:26,689 --> 00:00:26,699 career choices for women were so limited 17 00:00:26,699 --> 00:00:30,019 career choices for women were so limited and if you're in this room today most of 18 00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:30,029 and if you're in this room today most of 19 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:33,049 and if you're in this room today most of us grew up in world where we have basic 20 00:00:33,049 --> 00:00:33,059 us grew up in world where we have basic 21 00:00:33,059 --> 00:00:35,779 us grew up in world where we have basic civil rights and amazingly we still live 22 00:00:35,779 --> 00:00:35,789 civil rights and amazingly we still live 23 00:00:35,789 --> 00:00:37,400 civil rights and amazingly we still live in a world where some women don't have 24 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:37,410 in a world where some women don't have 25 00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:40,639 in a world where some women don't have them but all that aside we still have a 26 00:00:40,639 --> 00:00:40,649 them but all that aside we still have a 27 00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:43,010 them but all that aside we still have a problem and it's a real problem and the 28 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:43,020 problem and it's a real problem and the 29 00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:45,920 problem and it's a real problem and the problem is this women are not making it 30 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:45,930 problem is this women are not making it 31 00:00:45,930 --> 00:00:49,280 problem is this women are not making it to the top of any profession anywhere in 32 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:49,290 to the top of any profession anywhere in 33 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:51,319 to the top of any profession anywhere in the world the numbers tell the story 34 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:51,329 the world the numbers tell the story 35 00:00:51,329 --> 00:00:55,430 the world the numbers tell the story quite clearly 190 heads of state 9 or 36 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:55,440 quite clearly 190 heads of state 9 or 37 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,250 quite clearly 190 heads of state 9 or women of all the people in parliaments 38 00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:58,260 women of all the people in parliaments 39 00:00:58,260 --> 00:00:58,870 women of all the people in parliaments in the world 40 00:00:58,870 --> 00:00:58,880 in the world 41 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,240 in the world 13% are women in the corporate sector 42 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:02,250 13% are women in the corporate sector 43 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:05,539 13% are women in the corporate sector women at the top c-level jobs board 44 00:01:05,539 --> 00:01:05,549 women at the top c-level jobs board 45 00:01:05,549 --> 00:01:09,620 women at the top c-level jobs board seats tops out at 15 16 % the numbers 46 00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:09,630 seats tops out at 15 16 % the numbers 47 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,620 seats tops out at 15 16 % the numbers have not moved since 2002 and are going 48 00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:12,630 have not moved since 2002 and are going 49 00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:15,260 have not moved since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction even in the 50 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:15,270 in the wrong direction even in the 51 00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,539 in the wrong direction even in the nonprofit world a world we sometimes 52 00:01:17,539 --> 00:01:17,549 nonprofit world a world we sometimes 53 00:01:17,549 --> 00:01:19,639 nonprofit world a world we sometimes think of as being led by more women 54 00:01:19,639 --> 00:01:19,649 think of as being led by more women 55 00:01:19,649 --> 00:01:23,840 think of as being led by more women women at the top 20% we also have 56 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:23,850 women at the top 20% we also have 57 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,760 women at the top 20% we also have another problem which is that women face 58 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:25,770 another problem which is that women face 59 00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:28,279 another problem which is that women face harder choices between professional 60 00:01:28,279 --> 00:01:28,289 harder choices between professional 61 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,309 harder choices between professional success and personal fulfillment a 62 00:01:30,309 --> 00:01:30,319 success and personal fulfillment a 63 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,840 success and personal fulfillment a recent study in the u.s. showed that of 64 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:32,850 recent study in the u.s. showed that of 65 00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:35,090 recent study in the u.s. showed that of senior managers of married senior 66 00:01:35,090 --> 00:01:35,100 senior managers of married senior 67 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,370 senior managers of married senior managers two-thirds of the married men 68 00:01:37,370 --> 00:01:37,380 managers two-thirds of the married men 69 00:01:37,380 --> 00:01:39,769 managers two-thirds of the married men had children and only one-third of the 70 00:01:39,769 --> 00:01:39,779 had children and only one-third of the 71 00:01:39,779 --> 00:01:42,649 had children and only one-third of the married women had children couple of 72 00:01:42,649 --> 00:01:42,659 married women had children couple of 73 00:01:42,659 --> 00:01:44,239 married women had children couple of years ago I was in New York and I was 74 00:01:44,239 --> 00:01:44,249 years ago I was in New York and I was 75 00:01:44,249 --> 00:01:46,279 years ago I was in New York and I was pitching a deal and I was in one of 76 00:01:46,279 --> 00:01:46,289 pitching a deal and I was in one of 77 00:01:46,289 --> 00:01:48,260 pitching a deal and I was in one of those fancy New York private equity 78 00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:48,270 those fancy New York private equity 79 00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:50,870 those fancy New York private equity offices you can picture and I'm in the 80 00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:50,880 offices you can picture and I'm in the 81 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,249 offices you can picture and I'm in the meeting it's about a three hour meeting 82 00:01:52,249 --> 00:01:52,259 meeting it's about a three hour meeting 83 00:01:52,259 --> 00:01:54,980 meeting it's about a three hour meeting and two hours in there's kind of needs 84 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:54,990 and two hours in there's kind of needs 85 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,050 and two hours in there's kind of needs to be that bio break and everyone stands 86 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:57,060 to be that bio break and everyone stands 87 00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,239 to be that bio break and everyone stands up and the partner running the meeting 88 00:01:59,239 --> 00:01:59,249 up and the partner running the meeting 89 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,819 up and the partner running the meeting starts looking really embarrassed and I 90 00:02:01,819 --> 00:02:01,829 starts looking really embarrassed and I 91 00:02:01,829 --> 00:02:03,859 starts looking really embarrassed and I realize he doesn't know where the 92 00:02:03,859 --> 00:02:03,869 realize he doesn't know where the 93 00:02:03,869 --> 00:02:06,739 realize he doesn't know where the women's room is in his office so I start 94 00:02:06,739 --> 00:02:06,749 women's room is in his office so I start 95 00:02:06,749 --> 00:02:08,690 women's room is in his office so I start looking around for moving boxes figuring 96 00:02:08,690 --> 00:02:08,700 looking around for moving boxes figuring 97 00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:10,370 looking around for moving boxes figuring they just moved in but I don't see any 98 00:02:10,370 --> 00:02:10,380 they just moved in but I don't see any 99 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,800 they just moved in but I don't see any and so I said so did you just move into 100 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:12,810 and so I said so did you just move into 101 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:15,050 and so I said so did you just move into this office and he said no we've been 102 00:02:15,050 --> 00:02:15,060 this office and he said no we've been 103 00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:18,080 this office and he said no we've been here about a year and I said are you 104 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:18,090 here about a year and I said are you 105 00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:20,870 here about a year and I said are you telling me that I am the only woman to 106 00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:20,880 telling me that I am the only woman to 107 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,910 telling me that I am the only woman to have pitched a deal in this 108 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:22,920 have pitched a deal in this 109 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,160 have pitched a deal in this this in a year and he looked at me and 110 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:25,170 this in a year and he looked at me and 111 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,800 this in a year and he looked at me and he said yeah or maybe you're the only 112 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:27,810 he said yeah or maybe you're the only 113 00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:32,270 he said yeah or maybe you're the only one who had to go to the bathroom so the 114 00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:32,280 one who had to go to the bathroom so the 115 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,220 one who had to go to the bathroom so the question is how are we gonna fix this 116 00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:36,230 question is how are we gonna fix this 117 00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:39,530 question is how are we gonna fix this how do we change these numbers at the 118 00:02:39,530 --> 00:02:39,540 how do we change these numbers at the 119 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:43,400 how do we change these numbers at the top how do we make this different I want 120 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:43,410 top how do we make this different I want 121 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:45,290 top how do we make this different I want to start out by saying I talked about 122 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:45,300 to start out by saying I talked about 123 00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:47,180 to start out by saying I talked about this about keeping women in the 124 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:47,190 this about keeping women in the 125 00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:49,820 this about keeping women in the workforce because I really think that's 126 00:02:49,820 --> 00:02:49,830 workforce because I really think that's 127 00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:52,339 workforce because I really think that's the answer in the high-income part of 128 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:52,349 the answer in the high-income part of 129 00:02:52,349 --> 00:02:54,229 the answer in the high-income part of our workforce in the people who end up 130 00:02:54,229 --> 00:02:54,239 our workforce in the people who end up 131 00:02:54,239 --> 00:02:57,800 our workforce in the people who end up at the top fortune 500 CEO jobs or the 132 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:57,810 at the top fortune 500 CEO jobs or the 133 00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:00,559 at the top fortune 500 CEO jobs or the equivalent in other industries the 134 00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:00,569 equivalent in other industries the 135 00:03:00,569 --> 00:03:02,750 equivalent in other industries the problem I am convinced is that women are 136 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:02,760 problem I am convinced is that women are 137 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,660 problem I am convinced is that women are dropping out now people talk about this 138 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:05,670 dropping out now people talk about this 139 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:07,130 dropping out now people talk about this a lot and they talk about things like 140 00:03:07,130 --> 00:03:07,140 a lot and they talk about things like 141 00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:09,949 a lot and they talk about things like flex time and mentoring and programs 142 00:03:09,949 --> 00:03:09,959 flex time and mentoring and programs 143 00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:11,750 flex time and mentoring and programs companies should have to train women I 144 00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:11,760 companies should have to train women I 145 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,340 companies should have to train women I want to talk about none of that today 146 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:13,350 want to talk about none of that today 147 00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:15,199 want to talk about none of that today even though that's all really important 148 00:03:15,199 --> 00:03:15,209 even though that's all really important 149 00:03:15,209 --> 00:03:17,750 even though that's all really important today I want to focus on what we can do 150 00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:17,760 today I want to focus on what we can do 151 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,940 today I want to focus on what we can do as individuals what are the messages we 152 00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:19,950 as individuals what are the messages we 153 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,680 as individuals what are the messages we need to tell ourselves what are the 154 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:21,690 need to tell ourselves what are the 155 00:03:21,690 --> 00:03:23,120 need to tell ourselves what are the messages we tell the women that work 156 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:23,130 messages we tell the women that work 157 00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:25,340 messages we tell the women that work with and for us what are the messages we 158 00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:25,350 with and for us what are the messages we 159 00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:28,039 with and for us what are the messages we tell our daughters now at the outset I 160 00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:28,049 tell our daughters now at the outset I 161 00:03:28,049 --> 00:03:29,720 tell our daughters now at the outset I want to be very clear that this speech 162 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:29,730 want to be very clear that this speech 163 00:03:29,730 --> 00:03:32,180 want to be very clear that this speech comes with no judgments I don't have the 164 00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:32,190 comes with no judgments I don't have the 165 00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:33,860 comes with no judgments I don't have the right answer I don't even have it for 166 00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:33,870 right answer I don't even have it for 167 00:03:33,870 --> 00:03:37,640 right answer I don't even have it for myself I left San Francisco where I live 168 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:37,650 myself I left San Francisco where I live 169 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:40,039 myself I left San Francisco where I live on Monday and I was getting on the plane 170 00:03:40,039 --> 00:03:40,049 on Monday and I was getting on the plane 171 00:03:40,049 --> 00:03:41,569 on Monday and I was getting on the plane for this conference and my daughter 172 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:41,579 for this conference and my daughter 173 00:03:41,579 --> 00:03:43,160 for this conference and my daughter who's 3 when I dropped her off at 174 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:43,170 who's 3 when I dropped her off at 175 00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:45,259 who's 3 when I dropped her off at preschool did that whole hugging the leg 176 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:45,269 preschool did that whole hugging the leg 177 00:03:45,269 --> 00:03:46,640 preschool did that whole hugging the leg crying mom you don't get on the plane 178 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:46,650 crying mom you don't get on the plane 179 00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:50,090 crying mom you don't get on the plane thing this is hard I feel guilty 180 00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:50,100 thing this is hard I feel guilty 181 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,340 thing this is hard I feel guilty sometimes I know no women whether 182 00:03:52,340 --> 00:03:52,350 sometimes I know no women whether 183 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:53,810 sometimes I know no women whether they're at home or whether they're in 184 00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:53,820 they're at home or whether they're in 185 00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:55,819 they're at home or whether they're in the workforce that don't feel that 186 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:55,829 the workforce that don't feel that 187 00:03:55,829 --> 00:03:58,310 the workforce that don't feel that sometimes so I'm not saying that staying 188 00:03:58,310 --> 00:03:58,320 sometimes so I'm not saying that staying 189 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,289 sometimes so I'm not saying that staying in the workforce is the right thing for 190 00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:00,299 in the workforce is the right thing for 191 00:04:00,299 --> 00:04:03,530 in the workforce is the right thing for everyone my talk today is about what the 192 00:04:03,530 --> 00:04:03,540 everyone my talk today is about what the 193 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:05,780 everyone my talk today is about what the messages are if you do want to stay in 194 00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:05,790 messages are if you do want to stay in 195 00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:08,979 messages are if you do want to stay in the workforce and I think there are 3-1 196 00:04:08,979 --> 00:04:08,989 the workforce and I think there are 3-1 197 00:04:08,989 --> 00:04:12,740 the workforce and I think there are 3-1 sit at the table to make your partner a 198 00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:12,750 sit at the table to make your partner a 199 00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:16,550 sit at the table to make your partner a real partner and 3 look at that 200 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:16,560 real partner and 3 look at that 201 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,729 real partner and 3 look at that don't leave before you leave number one 202 00:04:19,729 --> 00:04:19,739 don't leave before you leave number one 203 00:04:19,739 --> 00:04:22,250 don't leave before you leave number one sit at the table just a couple weeks ago 204 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:22,260 sit at the table just a couple weeks ago 205 00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:24,350 sit at the table just a couple weeks ago at Facebook we hosted a very senior 206 00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:24,360 at Facebook we hosted a very senior 207 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,150 at Facebook we hosted a very senior government official and he came in to 208 00:04:26,150 --> 00:04:26,160 government official and he came in to 209 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,029 government official and he came in to meet with senior execs from around 210 00:04:29,029 --> 00:04:29,039 meet with senior execs from around 211 00:04:29,039 --> 00:04:29,720 meet with senior execs from around Silicon 212 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:29,730 Silicon 213 00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:32,690 Silicon and everyone kind of sat at the table 214 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:32,700 and everyone kind of sat at the table 215 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:34,550 and everyone kind of sat at the table and then he had these two women who were 216 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:34,560 and then he had these two women who were 217 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,750 and then he had these two women who were travelling with him who are pretty 218 00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:35,760 travelling with him who are pretty 219 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,910 travelling with him who are pretty senior in his department and I kind of 220 00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:37,920 senior in his department and I kind of 221 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,830 senior in his department and I kind of said to them sit at the table can't sit 222 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:39,840 said to them sit at the table can't sit 223 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,930 said to them sit at the table can't sit at the table and they sat on the side of 224 00:04:41,930 --> 00:04:41,940 at the table and they sat on the side of 225 00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:45,320 at the table and they sat on the side of the room when I was in college my senior 226 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:45,330 the room when I was in college my senior 227 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,030 the room when I was in college my senior year I took a course called European 228 00:04:47,030 --> 00:04:47,040 year I took a course called European 229 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,770 year I took a course called European intellectual history don't you love that 230 00:04:48,770 --> 00:04:48,780 intellectual history don't you love that 231 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:51,260 intellectual history don't you love that kind of thing from college wish I could 232 00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:51,270 kind of thing from college wish I could 233 00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:53,240 kind of thing from college wish I could do that now and I took it with my 234 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:53,250 do that now and I took it with my 235 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,520 do that now and I took it with my roommate Carrie who was then a brilliant 236 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:55,530 roommate Carrie who was then a brilliant 237 00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,320 roommate Carrie who was then a brilliant literary student and went on to be a 238 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:57,330 literary student and went on to be a 239 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,540 literary student and went on to be a brilliant literary scholar and my 240 00:04:59,540 --> 00:04:59,550 brilliant literary scholar and my 241 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:02,030 brilliant literary scholar and my brother smart guy but a water polo 242 00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:02,040 brother smart guy but a water polo 243 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,580 brother smart guy but a water polo playing pre-med who was a sophomore but 244 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:04,590 playing pre-med who was a sophomore but 245 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:06,310 playing pre-med who was a sophomore but three of us take this class together and 246 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:06,320 three of us take this class together and 247 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,680 three of us take this class together and then Carrie reads all the books in the 248 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:09,690 then Carrie reads all the books in the 249 00:05:09,690 --> 00:05:11,600 then Carrie reads all the books in the original creeks in Latin goes to all the 250 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:11,610 original creeks in Latin goes to all the 251 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:14,870 original creeks in Latin goes to all the lectures I read all the books in English 252 00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:14,880 lectures I read all the books in English 253 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,790 lectures I read all the books in English and go to most of the lectures my 254 00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:16,800 and go to most of the lectures my 255 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,280 and go to most of the lectures my brother is kind of busy he reads one 256 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:19,290 brother is kind of busy he reads one 257 00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:21,440 brother is kind of busy he reads one book of 12 and goes to a couple of 258 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:21,450 book of 12 and goes to a couple of 259 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:24,800 book of 12 and goes to a couple of lectures marches himself up to our room 260 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:24,810 lectures marches himself up to our room 261 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,600 lectures marches himself up to our room a couple days before the exam to get 262 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:26,610 a couple days before the exam to get 263 00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:29,150 a couple days before the exam to get himself tutor the three of us go to the 264 00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:29,160 himself tutor the three of us go to the 265 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,190 himself tutor the three of us go to the exam together and we sit down and we 266 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:31,200 exam together and we sit down and we 267 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,600 exam together and we sit down and we study you know sit there for three hours 268 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:32,610 study you know sit there for three hours 269 00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,280 study you know sit there for three hours and our little blue notebooks yes I'm 270 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:34,290 and our little blue notebooks yes I'm 271 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,410 and our little blue notebooks yes I'm that old and we walk out we look at each 272 00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:36,420 that old and we walk out we look at each 273 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,320 that old and we walk out we look at each other and we say how'd you do and Carrie 274 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:39,330 other and we say how'd you do and Carrie 275 00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:40,790 other and we say how'd you do and Carrie says boy I feel like I didn't really 276 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:40,800 says boy I feel like I didn't really 277 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,470 says boy I feel like I didn't really draw out the main point on the Hegelian 278 00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:42,480 draw out the main point on the Hegelian 279 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,440 draw out the main point on the Hegelian dialectic and I say God I really wish I 280 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:45,450 dialectic and I say God I really wish I 281 00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,450 dialectic and I say God I really wish I had really connected John Locke's theory 282 00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:47,460 had really connected John Locke's theory 283 00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:49,040 had really connected John Locke's theory of property the Philosopher's that 284 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:49,050 of property the Philosopher's that 285 00:05:49,050 --> 00:05:52,340 of property the Philosopher's that follow and my brother says I got the top 286 00:05:52,340 --> 00:05:52,350 follow and my brother says I got the top 287 00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:56,510 follow and my brother says I got the top grade in the class you got the top grade 288 00:05:56,510 --> 00:05:56,520 grade in the class you got the top grade 289 00:05:56,520 --> 00:06:00,770 grade in the class you got the top grade in the class you don't know anything the 290 00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:00,780 in the class you don't know anything the 291 00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:02,540 in the class you don't know anything the problem with these stories is that 292 00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:02,550 problem with these stories is that 293 00:06:02,550 --> 00:06:04,660 problem with these stories is that should they show what the data shows 294 00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:04,670 should they show what the data shows 295 00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:07,700 should they show what the data shows women systematically underestimate their 296 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:07,710 women systematically underestimate their 297 00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:10,100 women systematically underestimate their own abilities if you test men and women 298 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:10,110 own abilities if you test men and women 299 00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:11,720 own abilities if you test men and women and you ask them questions on totally 300 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:11,730 and you ask them questions on totally 301 00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:14,540 and you ask them questions on totally objective criteria like GPAs men get it 302 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:14,550 objective criteria like GPAs men get it 303 00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:16,610 objective criteria like GPAs men get it wrong slightly high and women get it 304 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:16,620 wrong slightly high and women get it 305 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,920 wrong slightly high and women get it wrong slightly low women do not 306 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:18,930 wrong slightly low women do not 307 00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:20,390 wrong slightly low women do not negotiate for themselves in the 308 00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:20,400 negotiate for themselves in the 309 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,970 negotiate for themselves in the workforce a study in the last two years 310 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:22,980 workforce a study in the last two years 311 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:25,370 workforce a study in the last two years of people entering the workforce out of 312 00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:25,380 of people entering the workforce out of 313 00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:28,580 of people entering the workforce out of college showed that 57 percent of boys 314 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:28,590 college showed that 57 percent of boys 315 00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:31,730 college showed that 57 percent of boys entering or men I guess are negotiating 316 00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:31,740 entering or men I guess are negotiating 317 00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:34,130 entering or men I guess are negotiating their first salary and only 7 percent of 318 00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:34,140 their first salary and only 7 percent of 319 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:38,630 their first salary and only 7 percent of women and most importantly men attribute 320 00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:38,640 women and most importantly men attribute 321 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,930 women and most importantly men attribute their success to themselves and women 322 00:06:40,930 --> 00:06:40,940 their success to themselves and women 323 00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:43,090 their success to themselves and women tributed two other external factors if 324 00:06:43,090 --> 00:06:43,100 tributed two other external factors if 325 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:45,130 tributed two other external factors if you ask men why they did a good job 326 00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:45,140 you ask men why they did a good job 327 00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:48,600 you ask men why they did a good job they'll say I'm awesome if you ask 328 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:48,610 they'll say I'm awesome if you ask 329 00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:51,850 they'll say I'm awesome if you ask obviously why are you even asking if you 330 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:51,860 obviously why are you even asking if you 331 00:06:51,860 --> 00:06:53,710 obviously why are you even asking if you ask women why they did a good job what 332 00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:53,720 ask women why they did a good job what 333 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,390 ask women why they did a good job what they'll say is someone help them they 334 00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:55,400 they'll say is someone help them they 335 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,210 they'll say is someone help them they got lucky they worked really hard why 336 00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:58,220 got lucky they worked really hard why 337 00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,550 got lucky they worked really hard why does this matter boy it matters a lot 338 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:00,560 does this matter boy it matters a lot 339 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,480 does this matter boy it matters a lot because no one gets to the corner office 340 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:03,490 because no one gets to the corner office 341 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:06,310 because no one gets to the corner office by sitting on the side not at the table 342 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:06,320 by sitting on the side not at the table 343 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,190 by sitting on the side not at the table and no one gets the promotion if they 344 00:07:09,190 --> 00:07:09,200 and no one gets the promotion if they 345 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,170 and no one gets the promotion if they don't think they deserve their success 346 00:07:11,170 --> 00:07:11,180 don't think they deserve their success 347 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,270 don't think they deserve their success or they don't even understand their own 348 00:07:13,270 --> 00:07:13,280 or they don't even understand their own 349 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,690 or they don't even understand their own success I wish the answer were easy I 350 00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:16,700 success I wish the answer were easy I 351 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:18,670 success I wish the answer were easy I wish I could just go tell all the young 352 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:18,680 wish I could just go tell all the young 353 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:19,990 wish I could just go tell all the young women I work for all these fabulous 354 00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:20,000 women I work for all these fabulous 355 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,150 women I work for all these fabulous women believe in yourself negotiate for 356 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:22,160 women believe in yourself negotiate for 357 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,180 women believe in yourself negotiate for yourself own your own success I wish I 358 00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:25,190 yourself own your own success I wish I 359 00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:26,520 yourself own your own success I wish I could tell that to my daughter 360 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:26,530 could tell that to my daughter 361 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,680 could tell that to my daughter but it's not that simple because what 362 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:29,690 but it's not that simple because what 363 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:31,810 but it's not that simple because what the data shows above all else is one 364 00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:31,820 the data shows above all else is one 365 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,150 the data shows above all else is one thing which is that success and 366 00:07:34,150 --> 00:07:34,160 thing which is that success and 367 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,280 thing which is that success and likeability are positively correlated 368 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:36,290 likeability are positively correlated 369 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,650 likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for 370 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:38,660 for men and negatively correlated for 371 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:41,320 for men and negatively correlated for women and everyone's nodding because we 372 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:41,330 women and everyone's nodding because we 373 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,810 women and everyone's nodding because we all know this to be true there's a 374 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:43,820 all know this to be true there's a 375 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:45,790 all know this to be true there's a really good study that shows this really 376 00:07:45,790 --> 00:07:45,800 really good study that shows this really 377 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,470 really good study that shows this really well there's a famous Harvard Business 378 00:07:47,470 --> 00:07:47,480 well there's a famous Harvard Business 379 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,270 well there's a famous Harvard Business School study on a woman named Heidi 380 00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:49,280 School study on a woman named Heidi 381 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,390 School study on a woman named Heidi Roizen and she's a operator in a venture 382 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:52,400 Roizen and she's a operator in a venture 383 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,610 Roizen and she's a operator in a venture capital company in Silicon Valley and 384 00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:54,620 capital company in Silicon Valley and 385 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,890 capital company in Silicon Valley and she uses her contacts to become a very 386 00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:56,900 she uses her contacts to become a very 387 00:07:56,900 --> 00:08:00,250 she uses her contacts to become a very successful venture capitalist in 2002 388 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:00,260 successful venture capitalist in 2002 389 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:02,350 successful venture capitalist in 2002 not so long ago a professor who was then 390 00:08:02,350 --> 00:08:02,360 not so long ago a professor who was then 391 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,390 not so long ago a professor who was then at Columbia University took that case 392 00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:04,400 at Columbia University took that case 393 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,880 at Columbia University took that case and made it Heidi Roizen and he gave 394 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:06,890 and made it Heidi Roizen and he gave 395 00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:08,740 and made it Heidi Roizen and he gave that case out both of them to two groups 396 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:08,750 that case out both of them to two groups 397 00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:09,490 that case out both of them to two groups of students 398 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:09,500 of students 399 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:13,360 of students he changed exactly one word Heidi to 400 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:13,370 he changed exactly one word Heidi to 401 00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:16,180 he changed exactly one word Heidi to Howard but that one word made a really 402 00:08:16,180 --> 00:08:16,190 Howard but that one word made a really 403 00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:17,140 Howard but that one word made a really big difference 404 00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:17,150 big difference 405 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:19,840 big difference he then surveyed the students and the 406 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:19,850 he then surveyed the students and the 407 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:21,670 he then surveyed the students and the good news was the students both men and 408 00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:21,680 good news was the students both men and 409 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,650 good news was the students both men and women thought Heidi and Howard were 410 00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:23,660 women thought Heidi and Howard were 411 00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:26,710 women thought Heidi and Howard were equally competent in maths good the bad 412 00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:26,720 equally competent in maths good the bad 413 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,110 equally competent in maths good the bad news was that everyone liked Howard he's 414 00:08:29,110 --> 00:08:29,120 news was that everyone liked Howard he's 415 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,610 news was that everyone liked Howard he's a great guy you want to work for him you 416 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:30,620 a great guy you want to work for him you 417 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,960 a great guy you want to work for him you want to spend the day fishing with him 418 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:31,970 want to spend the day fishing with him 419 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:35,350 want to spend the day fishing with him but Heidi not so sure she's a little out 420 00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:35,360 but Heidi not so sure she's a little out 421 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:36,880 but Heidi not so sure she's a little out for herself she's a little political 422 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:36,890 for herself she's a little political 423 00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:39,159 for herself she's a little political you're not sure you'd want to work for 424 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:39,169 you're not sure you'd want to work for 425 00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:42,909 you're not sure you'd want to work for her this is the complication we have to 426 00:08:42,909 --> 00:08:42,919 her this is the complication we have to 427 00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:44,560 her this is the complication we have to tell our daughter and our colleagues we 428 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:44,570 tell our daughter and our colleagues we 429 00:08:44,570 --> 00:08:46,480 tell our daughter and our colleagues we have to tell ourselves to believe we got 430 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:46,490 have to tell ourselves to believe we got 431 00:08:46,490 --> 00:08:49,030 have to tell ourselves to believe we got the a to reach for the promotion to sit 432 00:08:49,030 --> 00:08:49,040 the a to reach for the promotion to sit 433 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,579 the a to reach for the promotion to sit at the table and we have to do it in a 434 00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:51,589 at the table and we have to do it in a 435 00:08:51,589 --> 00:08:53,199 at the table and we have to do it in a world where for them there 436 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:53,209 world where for them there 437 00:08:53,209 --> 00:08:56,030 world where for them there sacrifices they will make for that even 438 00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:56,040 sacrifices they will make for that even 439 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,300 sacrifices they will make for that even though for their brothers there will not 440 00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:58,310 though for their brothers there will not 441 00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:00,740 though for their brothers there will not the saddest thing about all of us is 442 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:00,750 the saddest thing about all of us is 443 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:02,569 the saddest thing about all of us is that it's really hard to remember this 444 00:09:02,569 --> 00:09:02,579 that it's really hard to remember this 445 00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:04,129 that it's really hard to remember this and I'm about to tell a story which is 446 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:04,139 and I'm about to tell a story which is 447 00:09:04,139 --> 00:09:06,079 and I'm about to tell a story which is truly embarrassing for me but I think 448 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:06,089 truly embarrassing for me but I think 449 00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:09,170 truly embarrassing for me but I think important I gave this talk at Facebook 450 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:09,180 important I gave this talk at Facebook 451 00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,600 important I gave this talk at Facebook not so long ago to about a hundred 452 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:11,610 not so long ago to about a hundred 453 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:14,480 not so long ago to about a hundred employees and a couple hours later there 454 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:14,490 employees and a couple hours later there 455 00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:15,740 employees and a couple hours later there was a young woman who works there 456 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:15,750 was a young woman who works there 457 00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,689 was a young woman who works there sitting kind of outside my little desk 458 00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:17,699 sitting kind of outside my little desk 459 00:09:17,699 --> 00:09:20,269 sitting kind of outside my little desk and she wanted to talk to me and I said 460 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:20,279 and she wanted to talk to me and I said 461 00:09:20,279 --> 00:09:21,980 and she wanted to talk to me and I said okay and she sat down and we talked and 462 00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:21,990 okay and she sat down and we talked and 463 00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:23,389 okay and she sat down and we talked and she said I learned something today I 464 00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:23,399 she said I learned something today I 465 00:09:23,399 --> 00:09:25,850 she said I learned something today I learned that I need to keep my hand up I 466 00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:25,860 learned that I need to keep my hand up I 467 00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,889 learned that I need to keep my hand up I said what do you mean she said well 468 00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:27,899 said what do you mean she said well 469 00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:29,180 said what do you mean she said well you're giving this talk and then you 470 00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:29,190 you're giving this talk and then you 471 00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:30,290 you're giving this talk and then you said you're gonna take two more 472 00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:30,300 said you're gonna take two more 473 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:32,480 said you're gonna take two more questions and I had my hand up with lots 474 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:32,490 questions and I had my hand up with lots 475 00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:33,949 questions and I had my hand up with lots of other people and then you took two 476 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:33,959 of other people and then you took two 477 00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:36,079 of other people and then you took two more questions and I put my hand down 478 00:09:36,079 --> 00:09:36,089 more questions and I put my hand down 479 00:09:36,089 --> 00:09:37,519 more questions and I put my hand down and I noticed all the women put their 480 00:09:37,519 --> 00:09:37,529 and I noticed all the women put their 481 00:09:37,529 --> 00:09:38,689 and I noticed all the women put their hand down and then you took more 482 00:09:38,689 --> 00:09:38,699 hand down and then you took more 483 00:09:38,699 --> 00:09:42,740 hand down and then you took more questions only from the men and I 484 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:42,750 questions only from the men and I 485 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,170 questions only from the men and I thought to myself wow if it's me who 486 00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:45,180 thought to myself wow if it's me who 487 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:47,389 thought to myself wow if it's me who cares about this obviously giving this 488 00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:47,399 cares about this obviously giving this 489 00:09:47,399 --> 00:09:50,660 cares about this obviously giving this talk during this talk I can't even 490 00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:50,670 talk during this talk I can't even 491 00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:53,930 talk during this talk I can't even notice that the men's hands are still 492 00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:53,940 notice that the men's hands are still 493 00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:55,460 notice that the men's hands are still raised and the women's hands are still 494 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:55,470 raised and the women's hands are still 495 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,069 raised and the women's hands are still raised how good are we as managers of 496 00:09:58,069 --> 00:09:58,079 raised how good are we as managers of 497 00:09:58,079 --> 00:10:00,019 raised how good are we as managers of our companies and our organizations at 498 00:10:00,019 --> 00:10:00,029 our companies and our organizations at 499 00:10:00,029 --> 00:10:02,059 our companies and our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for 500 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:02,069 seeing that the men are reaching for 501 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:05,059 seeing that the men are reaching for opportunities more than women we've got 502 00:10:05,059 --> 00:10:05,069 opportunities more than women we've got 503 00:10:05,069 --> 00:10:11,569 opportunities more than women we've got to get women to sit at the table message 504 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:11,579 to get women to sit at the table message 505 00:10:11,579 --> 00:10:13,759 to get women to sit at the table message number two make your partner a real 506 00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:13,769 number two make your partner a real 507 00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:15,889 number two make your partner a real partner I've become convinced that we've 508 00:10:15,889 --> 00:10:15,899 partner I've become convinced that we've 509 00:10:15,899 --> 00:10:17,840 partner I've become convinced that we've made more progress in the workforce than 510 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:17,850 made more progress in the workforce than 511 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:20,150 made more progress in the workforce than we have in the home the data shows this 512 00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:20,160 we have in the home the data shows this 513 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,840 we have in the home the data shows this very clearly if a woman and a man work 514 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:23,850 very clearly if a woman and a man work 515 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:27,019 very clearly if a woman and a man work full-time and have a child the woman 516 00:10:27,019 --> 00:10:27,029 full-time and have a child the woman 517 00:10:27,029 --> 00:10:28,939 full-time and have a child the woman does twice the amount of housework the 518 00:10:28,939 --> 00:10:28,949 does twice the amount of housework the 519 00:10:28,949 --> 00:10:31,370 does twice the amount of housework the man does and the woman does three times 520 00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:31,380 man does and the woman does three times 521 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,970 man does and the woman does three times the amount of childcare the man does so 522 00:10:34,970 --> 00:10:34,980 the amount of childcare the man does so 523 00:10:34,980 --> 00:10:37,400 the amount of childcare the man does so she's got three jobs or two jobs and 524 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:37,410 she's got three jobs or two jobs and 525 00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:39,559 she's got three jobs or two jobs and he's got one who do you think it drops 526 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:39,569 he's got one who do you think it drops 527 00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:42,290 he's got one who do you think it drops out when someone needs to be home or the 528 00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:42,300 out when someone needs to be home or the 529 00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,090 out when someone needs to be home or the cause of the vist are really complicated 530 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:44,100 cause of the vist are really complicated 531 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:45,470 cause of the vist are really complicated and I don't have time to go into them 532 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:45,480 and I don't have time to go into them 533 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,730 and I don't have time to go into them and I don't think Sunday football 534 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:46,740 and I don't think Sunday football 535 00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:48,710 and I don't think Sunday football watching and general laziness is the 536 00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:48,720 watching and general laziness is the 537 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,870 watching and general laziness is the cause I think the cause is more 538 00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:50,880 cause I think the cause is more 539 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,749 cause I think the cause is more complicated I think as a society we put 540 00:10:53,749 --> 00:10:53,759 complicated I think as a society we put 541 00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:55,730 complicated I think as a society we put more pressure on our boys to succeed 542 00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:55,740 more pressure on our boys to succeed 543 00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:58,730 more pressure on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls I know men that 544 00:10:58,730 --> 00:10:58,740 than we do on our girls I know men that 545 00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:01,519 than we do on our girls I know men that stay home and work in the home to 546 00:11:01,519 --> 00:11:01,529 stay home and work in the home to 547 00:11:01,529 --> 00:11:03,290 stay home and work in the home to support wives with careers and it's hard 548 00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:03,300 support wives with careers and it's hard 549 00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,049 support wives with careers and it's hard when I go to 550 00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:05,059 when I go to 551 00:11:05,059 --> 00:11:06,699 when I go to mommy-and-me stuff and I see the father 552 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:06,709 mommy-and-me stuff and I see the father 553 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,979 mommy-and-me stuff and I see the father there I noticed that the other mommies 554 00:11:08,979 --> 00:11:08,989 there I noticed that the other mommies 555 00:11:08,989 --> 00:11:13,029 there I noticed that the other mommies don't play with him and that's a problem 556 00:11:13,029 --> 00:11:13,039 don't play with him and that's a problem 557 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,909 don't play with him and that's a problem because we have to make it as important 558 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:15,919 because we have to make it as important 559 00:11:15,919 --> 00:11:17,559 because we have to make it as important a job because it's the hardest job in 560 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:17,569 a job because it's the hardest job in 561 00:11:17,569 --> 00:11:18,189 a job because it's the hardest job in the world 562 00:11:18,189 --> 00:11:18,199 the world 563 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,379 the world to work inside the home for people of 564 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:20,389 to work inside the home for people of 565 00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,719 to work inside the home for people of both genders if we're gonna even things 566 00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:22,729 both genders if we're gonna even things 567 00:11:22,729 --> 00:11:25,769 both genders if we're gonna even things out and let women stay in the workforce 568 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:25,779 out and let women stay in the workforce 569 00:11:25,779 --> 00:11:28,149 out and let women stay in the workforce studies show that households with equal 570 00:11:28,149 --> 00:11:28,159 studies show that households with equal 571 00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:30,969 studies show that households with equal earning and equal responsibilities also 572 00:11:30,969 --> 00:11:30,979 earning and equal responsibilities also 573 00:11:30,979 --> 00:11:33,159 earning and equal responsibilities also have half the divorce rate and if that 574 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:33,169 have half the divorce rate and if that 575 00:11:33,169 --> 00:11:34,659 have half the divorce rate and if that wasn't good enough motivation for 576 00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:34,669 wasn't good enough motivation for 577 00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:36,959 wasn't good enough motivation for everyone out there they also have more 578 00:11:36,959 --> 00:11:36,969 everyone out there they also have more 579 00:11:36,969 --> 00:11:39,609 everyone out there they also have more how shall I say this on this stage they 580 00:11:39,609 --> 00:11:39,619 how shall I say this on this stage they 581 00:11:39,619 --> 00:11:41,199 how shall I say this on this stage they know each other more in the biblical 582 00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:41,209 know each other more in the biblical 583 00:11:41,209 --> 00:11:47,079 know each other more in the biblical sense as well message number three don't 584 00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:47,089 sense as well message number three don't 585 00:11:47,089 --> 00:11:49,419 sense as well message number three don't leave before you leave I think there's a 586 00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:49,429 leave before you leave I think there's a 587 00:11:49,429 --> 00:11:51,129 leave before you leave I think there's a really deep irony to the fact that 588 00:11:51,129 --> 00:11:51,139 really deep irony to the fact that 589 00:11:51,139 --> 00:11:53,109 really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking and I see this 590 00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:53,119 actions women are taking and I see this 591 00:11:53,119 --> 00:11:55,989 actions women are taking and I see this all the time with the objective of 592 00:11:55,989 --> 00:11:55,999 all the time with the objective of 593 00:11:55,999 --> 00:11:58,359 all the time with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead 594 00:11:58,359 --> 00:11:58,369 staying in the workforce actually lead 595 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,489 staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving here's what 596 00:12:00,489 --> 00:12:00,499 to their eventually leaving here's what 597 00:12:00,499 --> 00:12:02,829 to their eventually leaving here's what happens we're all busy everyone's busy a 598 00:12:02,829 --> 00:12:02,839 happens we're all busy everyone's busy a 599 00:12:02,839 --> 00:12:04,899 happens we're all busy everyone's busy a woman's busy and she starts thinking 600 00:12:04,899 --> 00:12:04,909 woman's busy and she starts thinking 601 00:12:04,909 --> 00:12:07,629 woman's busy and she starts thinking about having a child and from the moment 602 00:12:07,629 --> 00:12:07,639 about having a child and from the moment 603 00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,129 about having a child and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child 604 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:09,139 she starts thinking about having a child 605 00:12:09,139 --> 00:12:11,139 she starts thinking about having a child she starts thinking about making room 606 00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:11,149 she starts thinking about making room 607 00:12:11,149 --> 00:12:13,479 she starts thinking about making room for that child how am I gonna fit this 608 00:12:13,479 --> 00:12:13,489 for that child how am I gonna fit this 609 00:12:13,489 --> 00:12:15,269 for that child how am I gonna fit this into everything else I'm doing and 610 00:12:15,269 --> 00:12:15,279 into everything else I'm doing and 611 00:12:15,279 --> 00:12:18,819 into everything else I'm doing and literally from that moment she doesn't 612 00:12:18,819 --> 00:12:18,829 literally from that moment she doesn't 613 00:12:18,829 --> 00:12:21,129 literally from that moment she doesn't raise her hand anymore she doesn't look 614 00:12:21,129 --> 00:12:21,139 raise her hand anymore she doesn't look 615 00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:22,839 raise her hand anymore she doesn't look for a promotion she doesn't take on the 616 00:12:22,839 --> 00:12:22,849 for a promotion she doesn't take on the 617 00:12:22,849 --> 00:12:24,789 for a promotion she doesn't take on the new project she doesn't say me I want to 618 00:12:24,789 --> 00:12:24,799 new project she doesn't say me I want to 619 00:12:24,799 --> 00:12:27,669 new project she doesn't say me I want to do that she starts leaning back the 620 00:12:27,669 --> 00:12:27,679 do that she starts leaning back the 621 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,559 do that she starts leaning back the problem is that let's say she got 622 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:29,569 problem is that let's say she got 623 00:12:29,569 --> 00:12:33,279 problem is that let's say she got pregnant that day that day nine months 624 00:12:33,279 --> 00:12:33,289 pregnant that day that day nine months 625 00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:34,899 pregnant that day that day nine months of pregnancy three months of maternity 626 00:12:34,899 --> 00:12:34,909 of pregnancy three months of maternity 627 00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:37,109 of pregnancy three months of maternity leave six months to catch her breath 628 00:12:37,109 --> 00:12:37,119 leave six months to catch her breath 629 00:12:37,119 --> 00:12:40,089 leave six months to catch her breath fast-forward two years more often and as 630 00:12:40,089 --> 00:12:40,099 fast-forward two years more often and as 631 00:12:40,099 --> 00:12:42,039 fast-forward two years more often and as I've seen it women start thinking about 632 00:12:42,039 --> 00:12:42,049 I've seen it women start thinking about 633 00:12:42,049 --> 00:12:44,289 I've seen it women start thinking about this way earlier when they get engaged 634 00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:44,299 this way earlier when they get engaged 635 00:12:44,299 --> 00:12:46,059 this way earlier when they get engaged when they get married when they start 636 00:12:46,059 --> 00:12:46,069 when they get married when they start 637 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,409 when they get married when they start thinking about trying to have a child 638 00:12:47,409 --> 00:12:47,419 thinking about trying to have a child 639 00:12:47,419 --> 00:12:49,749 thinking about trying to have a child which didn't take a long time one woman 640 00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:49,759 which didn't take a long time one woman 641 00:12:49,759 --> 00:12:51,429 which didn't take a long time one woman came to see me about this and I kind of 642 00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:51,439 came to see me about this and I kind of 643 00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:52,599 came to see me about this and I kind of looked at her she looked at all young 644 00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:52,609 looked at her she looked at all young 645 00:12:52,609 --> 00:12:54,789 looked at her she looked at all young and I said so are you and your husband 646 00:12:54,789 --> 00:12:54,799 and I said so are you and your husband 647 00:12:54,799 --> 00:12:56,289 and I said so are you and your husband thinking about having a baby and she 648 00:12:56,289 --> 00:12:56,299 thinking about having a baby and she 649 00:12:56,299 --> 00:12:58,599 thinking about having a baby and she said oh no I'm not married she didn't 650 00:12:58,599 --> 00:12:58,609 said oh no I'm not married she didn't 651 00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:00,600 said oh no I'm not married she didn't even have a boyfriend 652 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:00,610 even have a boyfriend 653 00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,550 even have a boyfriend I said you're thinking about this just 654 00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:02,560 I said you're thinking about this just 655 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,300 I said you're thinking about this just way too early but the point is that what 656 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:06,310 way too early but the point is that what 657 00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:08,910 way too early but the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly 658 00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:08,920 happens once you start kind of quietly 659 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,030 happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back everyone who's been through 660 00:13:12,030 --> 00:13:12,040 leaning back everyone who's been through 661 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,710 leaning back everyone who's been through this and I'm here to tell you once you 662 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:13,720 this and I'm here to tell you once you 663 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,290 this and I'm here to tell you once you have a child at home your job better be 664 00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:16,300 have a child at home your job better be 665 00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,660 have a child at home your job better be really good to go back because it's hard 666 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:18,670 really good to go back because it's hard 667 00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:20,730 really good to go back because it's hard to leave that kid at home your job needs 668 00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:20,740 to leave that kid at home your job needs 669 00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:22,949 to leave that kid at home your job needs to be challenging it needs to be 670 00:13:22,949 --> 00:13:22,959 to be challenging it needs to be 671 00:13:22,959 --> 00:13:24,600 to be challenging it needs to be rewarding you need to feel like you're 672 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:24,610 rewarding you need to feel like you're 673 00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:27,630 rewarding you need to feel like you're making a difference and if two years ago 674 00:13:27,630 --> 00:13:27,640 making a difference and if two years ago 675 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,030 making a difference and if two years ago you didn't take a promotion and some guy 676 00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:30,040 you didn't take a promotion and some guy 677 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,970 you didn't take a promotion and some guy next to you did if three years ago you 678 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:32,980 next to you did if three years ago you 679 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,610 next to you did if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities 680 00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:34,620 stopped looking for new opportunities 681 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:37,829 stopped looking for new opportunities you're gonna be bored because you should 682 00:13:37,829 --> 00:13:37,839 you're gonna be bored because you should 683 00:13:37,839 --> 00:13:39,800 you're gonna be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal 684 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:39,810 have kept your foot on the gas pedal 685 00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:43,949 have kept your foot on the gas pedal don't leave before you leave stay and 686 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:43,959 don't leave before you leave stay and 687 00:13:43,959 --> 00:13:46,170 don't leave before you leave stay and keep your foot on the gas pedal until 688 00:13:46,170 --> 00:13:46,180 keep your foot on the gas pedal until 689 00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:49,019 keep your foot on the gas pedal until the very day you need to leave to take 690 00:13:49,019 --> 00:13:49,029 the very day you need to leave to take 691 00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,569 the very day you need to leave to take to take a break for a child and then 692 00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:51,579 to take a break for a child and then 693 00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:54,090 to take a break for a child and then make your decisions don't make decisions 694 00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:54,100 make your decisions don't make decisions 695 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,579 make your decisions don't make decisions too far in advance particularly ones 696 00:13:56,579 --> 00:13:56,589 too far in advance particularly ones 697 00:13:56,589 --> 00:13:59,150 too far in advance particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making 698 00:13:59,150 --> 00:13:59,160 you're not even conscious you're making 699 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:02,069 you're not even conscious you're making my generation really sadly is not going 700 00:14:02,069 --> 00:14:02,079 my generation really sadly is not going 701 00:14:02,079 --> 00:14:04,110 my generation really sadly is not going to change the numbers at the top they're 702 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:04,120 to change the numbers at the top they're 703 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,689 to change the numbers at the top they're just not moving we are not going to get 704 00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:06,699 just not moving we are not going to get 705 00:14:06,699 --> 00:14:09,240 just not moving we are not going to get over 50% of the population in my 706 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:09,250 over 50% of the population in my 707 00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:11,340 over 50% of the population in my generation there will not be 50% of 708 00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:11,350 generation there will not be 50% of 709 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,430 generation there will not be 50% of people at the top of any industry but 710 00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:13,440 people at the top of any industry but 711 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,439 people at the top of any industry but I'm hopeful that future generations can 712 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:16,449 I'm hopeful that future generations can 713 00:14:16,449 --> 00:14:19,740 I'm hopeful that future generations can I think a world that was run where half 714 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:19,750 I think a world that was run where half 715 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,630 I think a world that was run where half of our countries and half of our 716 00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:21,640 of our countries and half of our 717 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,939 of our countries and half of our companies were run by women would be a 718 00:14:23,939 --> 00:14:23,949 companies were run by women would be a 719 00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:25,949 companies were run by women would be a better world and it's not just because 720 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:25,959 better world and it's not just because 721 00:14:25,959 --> 00:14:27,269 better world and it's not just because people would know where the women's 722 00:14:27,269 --> 00:14:27,279 people would know where the women's 723 00:14:27,279 --> 00:14:29,400 people would know where the women's bathroom are even though that would be 724 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:29,410 bathroom are even though that would be 725 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,590 bathroom are even though that would be how it very helpful I think it would be 726 00:14:31,590 --> 00:14:31,600 how it very helpful I think it would be 727 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,680 how it very helpful I think it would be a better world I have two children I 728 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:34,690 a better world I have two children I 729 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:36,300 a better world I have two children I have a five-year-old son and a 730 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:36,310 have a five-year-old son and a 731 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,699 have a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter I want my son to 732 00:14:38,699 --> 00:14:38,709 two-year-old daughter I want my son to 733 00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:40,769 two-year-old daughter I want my son to have a choice to contribute fully in the 734 00:14:40,769 --> 00:14:40,779 have a choice to contribute fully in the 735 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,350 have a choice to contribute fully in the workforce or at home and I want my 736 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:43,360 workforce or at home and I want my 737 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,750 workforce or at home and I want my daughter to have the choice to not just 738 00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:45,760 daughter to have the choice to not just 739 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,970 daughter to have the choice to not just succeed but to be liked for her 740 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:47,980 succeed but to be liked for her 741 00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:50,000 succeed but to be liked for her accomplishments thank you 742 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:50,010 accomplishments thank you 743 00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:59,640 accomplishments thank you [Applause] 744 00:14:59,640 --> 00:14:59,650 745 00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:12,780 [Music] 746 00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:12,790 747 00:15:12,790 --> 00:15:20,020 [Music] 748 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:20,030 749 00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:23,360 sharing that's video on the human 750 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:23,370 sharing that's video on the human 751 00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:27,080 sharing that's video on the human Network Cisco welcome to the human 752 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:27,090 Network Cisco welcome to the human 753 00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:29,270 Network Cisco welcome to the human Network